Fatwa # 17542 from United States Date: Wednesday, February 18th 2009
Category

Inviting to Islam
Title
Hi, I would like to know if it's haram to have a boyfriend?, and Can you please pray for my dad to get out of jail?

Question
Hi, I would like to know if it's haram to have a boyfriend?, and Can you please pray for my dad to get out of jail?

Answer

In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful

Assalaamu `alaykum waRahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

We acknowledge receipt of your enquiries and the response follows hereunder:

Fornication has become a common place occurrence within the Muslim Youth community, and the Muslim girls and boys have sadly fallen prey to the snares of Western society. In Islam, there is no such thing as a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship.
Furthermore, if a girl or boy enters into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship then he/she is entering into a pre-marital relationship which is Haraam. We need to understand that that pre-marital relationship is like the extra-marital relationships, or what is commonly known as adultery or 'an affair'.

Islam has taken a firm and decisive stance against Zina (fornication or adultery). Allah Ta’ala commands in explicit and unequivocal words:

[وَلاَ تَقْرَبُواْ الزِّنَى إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَآءَ سَبِيلاً]

“And come not near unto adultery. Verily! It is an abomination and an evil way.” (Surah Al-Israa’: Ayat 32)

Thus, Islam not only prohibits Zina, but also closes all the avenues and means leading to it. This is achieved by prohibiting every step and means leading to stimulating desires, opening ways for illicit sexual relations between men and women, and promoting indecency and obscenity.

At this stage you may assert that girlfriend-boyfriend relationships need not go as far as the sexual act; that they can control themselves and simply enjoy each others company. To counter this, you say that it is a fact when a girl and a boy are alone together, their sexual desires awaken and before they know it, they will be doing things that are not permissible between unmarried people. The reason for this is because Shaytaan will be the third person with them and he will whisper and tempt them with the forbidden.

In an authentic Hadith reported by Ahmad, it is narrated that the Prophet (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi Wassallam) said: “The eyes commit Zina, the hands commit Zina and feet commit Zina and the genitals commit Zina.” [Musnad Ahmad, Hadith no. 4258]

In another Hadith, he (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi Wassallam) is reported to have said that “the genitals confirm or deny it.” (Indicating that starring at opposite sex in a lustful way has a spontaneous effect on the genitals and may induce person to commit Zina).

Ibn Masoud (Radhiyallaahu ‘anhuma) related that Prophet Muhammad (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi Wassallam) said:-

«لَا يَحِلُّ دَمُ امْرِىءٍ مُسْلِمٍ يَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللهُ وَأَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا رَسُولُ اللهِ، إِلَّا بِإِحْدَى ثَلَاثٍ: النَّفْسُ بِالنَّفْسِ، وَالزَّانِي الْمُحْصَنُ، وَالتَّارِكُ لِدِينِهِ الْمُفَارِقُ لِلْجَمَاعَة»

"The blood of a Muslim may not be legally spilt other than in one of three instances: the married person who commits adultery, a life for a life, and one who forsakes his religion and abandons the community." [Sahih Bukhari & Muslim].

As for the unmarried person who has sexual relationships, rest assured that this person will not go unpunished; he or she is to be caned or whipped one hundred times:

الزَّانِيَةُ وَالزَّانِى فَاجْلِدُواْ كُلَّ وَاحِدٍ مِّنْهُمَا مِاْئَةَ جَلْدَةٍ

The adulteress and adulterer, flog each of them with a hundred stripes.(Surah Nur; ayat 2)

Even in the Hereafter, the punishment will be very severe as was attested by the Prophet (Sallallaahu ‘alayhi Wassallam) when he went in Mi’raj that the adulterers, men and women, were in a baking oven in Hellfire [Sahih Al-Bukhari].

This is why Islam shuns all avenues leading to corruption of the mind, body and soul. May Allah protect us from this evil act and guard us against all ways that lead to it.

“We pray hale and hearty that Allah Ta’ala liberates your father rapidly from the jail and keeps him with ‘aafiyah (grant him safety & wellbeing). Ameen”

Do keep in touch. If you have any other question, don't hesitate to write to us.

And Allah Ta'ala Knows Best


Wassalamu Alaykum


Mufti Ebrahim Desai (M1)
Darul Iftaa, Madrassah In'aamiyyah

3. Jika kau ingin berbahagia seumur hidup, tahanlah dirimu untuk berbahagia sebelum kau berhak menjadi milik 'si dia'.

4. Jika engkau menyintainya, binalah asas perkahwinan dengan tidak melaggar syariatNYA.

6. Jikalau engkau inginkan pasangan hidupmu yang terbaik untukmu, maka engkaulah yang patut menjadi yang terbaik dahulu.